Ubara

Ubara. The word has been tossed around and thrown out lately because I am not mated and people keep wondering who I will claim for my own and they seem to think that they have a say in who it is simply because I am the Ubar. Now .. This calls many things into question such as what is an Ubara? Is it a title? A position? Is it something a woman can be born to? Is it something that she earns or something that is just given to her because she mates an Ubar? Many people seem to have opinions on the Ubara but very few have ever had to face being one.

Now I have actually had fewer thoughts on an Ubara than I have on my mate. I do not think of the woman I intend to claim as an Ubara .. I think of her as the woman I intend to spend the rest of my days and nights with. And unless these opinionated people intend to sex her and live with her .. they really do not have much weight with me on who I will take to my furs. I am not going to choose a mate simply because someone else likes her.. or doesn't like her. I think I sort of kind of maybe need to like her a little myself. Go figure.

This all has brought to mind a conversation I had with an Elder of the Tribe. Noya to be precise. Now she stopped me and spoke to me .. told me that the position of Ubara was earned .. not just given. That I need to mate the woman that I can truly care for and live with and if that woman is to be Ubara .. she will have to earn it. I like that. It fits how I think of Ubara myself and what that word and position means to me. Not just the woman that I mate but .. whether or not she earns the position. Earns the respect. Earns the right to call herself Ubara of the Tuchuk. That made a lot of sense to me. I was not born into the position myself. I worked and I still work to be fair and honest with everyone ... not just a few. Perhaps the woman that I mate will earn the title of Ubara .. and perhaps she will not.

So what do I owe the position that I am in when it comes to my mate? I have no intention of choosing a caustic bitter nasty tongued wench who is full of negative things to say about people. I do not intend to mate a woman who yells or screams or thinks she is better than others. I will not mate a woman who is so insecure that I must plug the holes of her psyche every time I come in late from patrol or do not come in at all for days. I do not intend to mate a woman who is a whore with other men in public when not only her relationship with me but her position must make her refrain from such acts. I intend to mate a woman who I get along with. Whose family.. if she has one ... can be my family. Whose ideas and creative urges run somewhere near my own but not in the same rut. A woman who inspires me to greater things beyond my own horizons. Who comforts me and reminds me of the softer .. finer ... and more peaceful side of life that I so desperately need in my own. I intend to mate a woman who I know. Not for a day .. not for a hand .. perhaps not even for a full season ... but a woman I actually know. I have lived many years since getting my first courage scar and I have not mated yet ... I am obviously not in a rush.