Getting to Know T'zuri

I sent one of my men off to find T'zuri while I used the time to work on some of my gear. Braiding leather strips together to strengthen them. She came and I could tell she was still suffering a bit of an attitude. Self righteous in her belief that she had done nothing wrong and still carrying the weight of it like a stone around her neck. Did she not know that you do not feel that way unless there is something you must make right? She is so innocent despite her years and I am so fearful I will leave a careless footprint on her soul. I think I left a few signs of my passing today.. though they were not very careless.

We spoke of what happened with Kam and I reasoned with her as to which was more important .. her own beliefs or the beliefs of another who felt slighted and wronged by something she had done. I told her that there are men you can question on their actions and there are men you can not. She must learn who these men are and keep her behaviors within these boundaries. I asked her if she wanted to be punished as a girl or as a woman. She chose to honor the ring in her nose and to stand up under her actions and face their consequences. I can not say I was happy about that .. I had no desire to do what I was about to. But I told her first she had to apologize to Kam. To tell him that she was no longer allowed to ask him questions nor for advice until such a time as I felt it was right to allow this again. Then she must return to me for her punishment. I was not sure how she would handle the apology. I was not sure she was even yet convinced of her own wrong. But when she got to Kam and he treated her much as I am used to Kam treating young women ... I think he broke her damn of fear and frustration and her heart poured out. Her words were well spoken. I was pleased. Kam accepted her apology and told her to keep struggling to learn and grow. He finally released T'zuri to return for her punishment.

Truth be told I was avoiding it. Everything warred within me on this. For many reasons. I did not want to lift my hand to her in violence. I did not want to create the bond I was about to create with her. It was something I avoided doing .. until now rather successfully. But this was something that was inevitable as I was taking on more responsibilities with prospects. Sooner or later one of them had to step across the line and earn correction. I was about to learn more about T'zuri than I was ready for.

She stood for it .. like a woman. She bared her back for the lash and her knees did not buckle when it struck her. I know my way around leather and whips and I did not allow the ends to wrap around and strike her breasts but I did not soften the blow with mercy. The welts lay on her shoulders and back alone. She covered herself .. and turned to weep against me. I held her. She said things to me that I did not want to hear .. especially after laying the lash to her. I told her she did not know of what she spoke and that I needed time to get to know her before I could answer any of these things. She proceeded to take the time to show me how much I did know about her .. which was a lot more than I would have guessed. Save I did not know the color of her eyes... and I probably will never remember when she was born .. and well ... I learned a lot about T'zuri that day. I learned of her heart and her courage .. of her ability to listen and hear what I say despite her own hurt feelings and defenses on the subject. I learned that she can open her mind to a new way of thinking and fly on my own words to places she has never been. I learned that she can face consequences without anger. How much easier it would have been if she had been defensive and angry. I do not believe I can think of T'zuri as a girl any more. She has stepped into womanhood in my eyes and done so with a grace that I must respect. Does that mean she is perfect? I do not know a perfect woman. Same as I do not know a perfect man. Myself being a prime example. We all screw up and we all must apologize and we all must face consequences .. she has shown that she can do that ... and do it with courage as a woman.