Prospects

Even though introspection and thinking are a huge part of who I am .. there are times when action seems easier .. better ... more fitting and certainly more rewarding. There are two areas I have not allowed this to take root in my life and those two areas are my own slaves and choosing a mate. I think the reason for that is that every thought that involves action seems to lead to the knowledge that relationships are nothing to force ..or contrive through action.

And yet this philosophy does not seem to be working for me. It has not allowed my life to move smoothly along a path when it comes to either one of these relationships. All thought and no action seems to be as foolhardy as all action and no thought. Though the all action part has never been fully tested ... my own logic appeals to me to refrain. Thus the riding out to choose a mate and then ... just riding on and away.

I have missed bell. There is a layer of dust on everything in my wagon .. though everything is placed perfectly as I like it .. it does not feel or smell lived in. As much as I realize I have very little time to give to a personal slave .. I have come to the decision that one is required. So where does that leave me? A plan of action. I will at this point go and find myself a slave that was born a slave .. a kettle girl most like. A slave that has no expectations of a personal relationship but that will serve my needs as I require. Logic is so amazing.

Now if there was such a logical answer to a mate I would be a completely happy man. But I feel certain that such logic will fail me as soon as I try to apply it to a free woman.

My talk with Falon has started a bit of a domino effect. A talk with Tarra ..another talk with Falon. It is not that I think they are talking together about it .. only that I have seen and talked to both Tarra and Falon more in the last hand than I have in the entire season in the South. If Kam and Lochlan and Chay suddenly want to talk to me about our friendship I will then begin to get worried. Like all three moons being full three nights in a row. The coincidence would be too much to assimilate logically.

And there is that word logic again. All in all logically there are no prospects for my mating. No woman that I feel might possibly do. There are women that if time and effort pan out I may or may not get to know better for my own pleasure. Where that will lead I have no more idea than ever.