A Long Way Down

What is it with women. Are they really that blind .. or are they just so embedded in denial. I think I am rather intelligent .. but I honestly do not believe I am that much more intelligent than everyone else. Despite my arrogant ego. So I actually keep expecting them to ... get it.

When Kazhuye came to the fires and stirred everything up .. he did so this time while I was about five steps from the fire talking to Falon about elements. Now as I made clear to Cana .. those who want respect demand respect and in this case Kam did a little demanding and Kaz let his kaiila take a swipe at him. I was furious. My guards escorted Kaz out of the First Wagons.

T'zuri was there .. said nothing ... until the last when Kam is bleeding to death on the grass and I am being disrespected to the point of insanity and whose name is she crying out for? What man is she begging life for? Certainly was not Kam .. certainly was not me. No it was Kazhuye.

Figures.

I let my temper get the best of me .. was all ready in the process of losing it so walking back upstream to gather it up was just not in my time line of events. At that moment she broke the rules and she was someone else for me. The culmination of what I set out to learn by telling Kaz he had a free path to earn her affections. My suspicions were tied up and handed to me in a pretty package of understanding and I ordered her to her wagons until my word released her.

It was a couple of days before I had the good grace to go and talk to her. I did not want to. Not because I figured she would try to explain herself .. but because I knew she would and I knew all the words she would use and none of them worked. None of them took away what I felt or how I saw it. But my temper finally cooled enough I did not feel I would rip her head off too badly and I went to speak to her.

She had just started using all those words I knew she would .. "just friends" and .. "thought you were going to kill" ... I did ask her when was the last time she saw me kill a Tuchuk. Rather safe in asking that since I knew she had not seen the last time because it involved a mask. And besides by the look of Kam seemed to me Kazhuye was taking care of himself just fine.

I did not want her trying to fit me into that picture .. because I did not fit into the picture that night except as the big bad Ubar killing machine. It was a role I was particularly frustrated with just of late.

But we had no chance to work passed my frustration or my irritation for Arigh came being escorted by an outrider. She looked like a little hell warmed over the next morning and I asked the Outrider what happened. He said .. get this .. he said to me that I should ask Arigh or she might never speak again. The man was obviously not in his right mind speaking to a commander that way let alone the Ubar. I took the hands on approach and told him to get out of my sight. I would deal with him later.

By this time Arigh had collapsed on the ground and began sobbing .. or trying to breathe .. or something and I told T'zuri to take her to her wagon and get her into some furs and I would get a Healer sent back.

I have no idea what Arigh needed to tell T'zuri so badly .. all I know is that as I walked away I heard her scream Kazhuye's name.

Figures.

The Healer kept staring at me as I told her she was needed at Arigh's wagon between chuckles. I guess most people do not seek the Healer Clan's fires while they are laughing so hard. But come on .. the irony just kept oozing out of the pores with both of these women and the timing and circumstance was funny as hell. I do not care who you are.