Shades of Blue

Then hate me when thou wilt; if ever, now;
Now, while the world is bent my deeds to cross,
Join with the spite of fortune, make me bow,
And do not drop in for an after-loss:
Ah! do not, when my heart hath 'scaped this sorrow,
Come in the rearward of a conquered woe;
Give not a windy night a rainy morrow,
To linger out a purposed overthrow.
If thou wilt leave me, do not leave me last,
When other petty griefs have done their spite,
But in the onset come; so shall I taste
At first the very worst of fortune's might;
And other strains of woe, Which now seem woe,
Compared with loss of thee will not seem so.
-W.Shakespeare

Well it was later. With dust caked into every orifice I have and the Central Fire had leached every drop of moisture from my body ... I caught myself a terrible case of the dismals. Now I had no reason for it .. well no more reason than usual. Not that I did not have enough reason for it just regular like ... but this was something out of the ordinary and it settled down on me in a heavy gray shroud of the blues. I could not have been more sick with it if I had a fever and chills and it was a physical ailment with achy bones and all. It must have snuck up on me while I was not looking because I sure did not see it coming and it had a fierce hold on me.

It was me and Kai and we must have made a pair .. the two of us. Kai with his broken fang and tore up eye and wide head that just always looks a little angry and foul anyway. And me ... sporting a melancholy that could depress the paint off the side of a wagon.

I am pleased enough that no one of the First Wagons witnessed it. It was not pretty and it was not attractive. But at the time I did not care much. I was too weighted down with the entire world on my shoulders and I was sure it had been there long enough to grow roots down through my feet so every step was like tearing away an entire generation's worth of growth.

Anyway that is how I felt and it came on so sudden I did not have a chance to prepare any kind of defense against it. I felt over run .. conquered ... captured and enslaved. Shackled by a heavy burden .. well that reminded me of a song ... so I took to singing.