Tarsk Women

It is nearly shameful how young I am being an Ubar. But I suppose the Sky never put any age limit on what a man does and when. There are men a lot older than myself who have never done the things I have done nor seen the things I have seen. I have just put a lot of living down behind me and I hope to do a bit more of that. Still some things I would like to experience.

Now I am not sure what all has everyone acting so skittish and out of sorts but if they are all wound up over who I am going to take as a mate they need to get back to living because they are going to get a lot older and more tired before they see me settle down.

I have seen the sour faces of women who have stood over cooking pots stirring way too long. Not just their faces all dried out and wrinkled .. it seems to effect their hearts too. Women who spend more time talking about other people's affairs than they do living their own. Who take more time to discuss an unmated warrior than they do with making their own mates comfortable. And it shows. Why once they get themselves mated off they think they have a say in who mates who after .. I have no idea. I have heard the poison on their tongues and I have no use for it myself. Seems all a woman needs to do around here is get mated and the digression of pleasing attributes begins. Now why would I set myself up for that kind of misery? For a child? Children are easier had than that. Now I admit that a man wants his own blood and flesh to see to things after he is gone. And I will admit to the longing for such myself. But I have been alone so long now I am not sure I know how to change that .. or if I want to. I may be very young but like I said .. I have seen a lot of things I do not want and very few I would like to have. It is a frightening thing to a man to watch women turn ugly.

That said .. I have seen one or two women who seem to glow. They are more beautiful now than they were before they were mated. Their tongues have failed to grow sharp and bitter. Their faces are still soft despite the lines of hardship that mark us all. They bless everyone they come in contact with. Leaving behind something better than they found it. Something stronger. Their mates and wagons are prosperous for their presence .. not weaker. And everyone who speaks to them feels a little bit better afterwards. But these women are very few and far between. I do not have a lot of faith in my own ability to predict either .. for women I have liked and been attracted to .. I have seen turn sour and miserable.

So what does it all mean? I do not know. I just know that living is a lot of work and I am busy enough with that. I will never rush into anything again. If the urge comes upon me I will ride out of camp three days and wait for the feeling to pass before returning. And those ugly women sitting there stirring their pots better set in some stores for the winter because it is going to be a long wait.