Famous Last Words

"I hope I never want the easy ways in life .."

It was the phrase that started a discussion with Falon. I had to disagree. I do want easy ways in life. I just do not have any great expectations it is going to get easy.

She asked me then .. where is the challenge? And I replied .. where is there not a challenge? Challenges come without us having to look for them.

For me life is not about looking for challenges ... it is about facing them when they come ... and they will come. She agreed but said as long as it did not become stagnant. I said .. what stagnant. Show me stagnant. It does not exist.

I want to be comfortable a much as the next man. I want an easy path. I will not lie just to sound as if I do not know what hardship is. I have had hardship all my life ... I have had enough nothing to last a lifetime. I am well sick of it. Does that mean I will not do what it takes? Of course not. It just means I can not say ... that I like it.. or want it.

Falon said I had lived on the plains all my life and she only a short time. But I told her I do not believe it has anything to do with living on the plains. I believe people face challenges no matter who they are or where they are. I do believe it is easier to see it out here on the plains. Things are more clear. I do not believe being Tuchuk is about wanting more hardships or more challenges or wishing for a tougher life than anyone else. I think being Tuchuk is about wanting things to be more simple .. basic. More open and free ... without all the trimmings and walls and layers to cover things up and make them harder to understand and solve. Everything here is peeled back to reveal the sinew and muscle .. the capillaries of the thing. Being Tuchuk is about the bosk .. the land .. and the restless heart that drives us always onward.

Some people can not handle that. They need a piece of ground to call their own. They build walls to protect them from the wrath of the Sky and they put up fences to keep others from their piece of soil. It takes someone different to be a plainsman. Someone with a nomadic heart and soul. We never stay in one place long enough to plant a crop or sink roots. I suppose that is why we eat nothing from within the ground. There is always the search for grass .. a hungry bosk moving over the horizon and we follow right behind.

I think Falon understood what I had to say and I honestly do not believe she was trying to say something too different. It is not a popular or well received thing to say ... I am tired of the rough path ... give me a smooth one. But that is where I am at. I am not embarrassed to say it. It will not change anything .. I do not really believe the smooth path even exists ... anywhere. But I am a dreamer and I will not stop dreaming of a time and place where things are just a little bit easier... especially when I am sore and tired.