Friday, September 28, 2007

An Old Well Savored Vintage

So what happens in a moment like that? A man takes several steps back because he is standing on ground he should not be on .. thinking thoughts he should not be thinking. For whatever reason. It was not the first time I have tied the flaps over a window and shifted my thinking about a woman. It actually happens a lot .. in different ways.

Perhaps she gets claimed .. out of respect for both her and the guy who mates her .. you do not see that woman in the same light today as you did yesterday. It is just .. different. And that is just one example.

I have done this with many women .. Kai and Falon included for different reasons.

Once a man takes those steps back .. well at least this man ... he does not approach again unless something changes. Some event .. some conversation ... something that cracks the shell around that particular perception. It is not a negative thing .. far from it. It is indeed a positive one and done in the best interests of another with the added benefit that what is done in the best interest of those around us in the long run makes our own lives simpler and much more peaceful.

And so it was that I took up that old familiar vintage of apathy and started swigging strait from the bottle.

I told her that she was a good girl. Well that pissed her off even more and here I thought I had inspired her heights all ready .. I was wrong. But I did not mean it as a bad thing. I meant it as a compliment. No .. I was not going to take advantage of her but she thought I was and acted accordingly .. I wanted to compliment her not just as a man but as her guardian. She was spot on track and I wanted to give her credit for it. She said she was having trouble hearing me .. because when a woman is angry sometimes she shuts off her hearing. I know that for a fact though it was good to hear it spoken of from the lips of the kaiila. She asked me if a man shuts off something when he is angry. I said yes .. she asked what? I said ..

everything.

That is when she asked me how I felt about my life.

Huh.

Not only was that too vague to even wrap my brain around .. I had just started the pickling process of my vitals and feeling was not exactly where I was at. I answered her questions but .. I am sure the answers were not exactly what she was looking for .. if she was actually looking for feelings. At this point it was not going to be easy to get at my feelings any time soon without some real intervention and prohibition for the heart and soul.

She was pert and sassy still feeling the rush of her temper. She said she was not going to tell me how she felt any more because she had done it enough. Now by this time I was almost all the way through the bottle and sucking the worm through my teeth .. and I smiled ... and I said ..

as you wish T'zuri.

After she left and I strode off down stream I glanced at my hands in the moons light and turned them over studying the calluses and scars. They looked white and intense against my dark skin in the silver hue .. hideous and cruel. Strong .. but good for nothing more than hard work and skilled labor. I could kill with these hands .. in more ways than one.

I was going to need another bottle.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home