Lazy Kind of Day

The ground soaked up the rain as quickly as it fell. A bit of mud and then it was like the rain had not even happened. But I was not fooled. I knew the rains had come and though there was a slight reprieve it was not going to last long. For weeks we had been preparing for the move and I finally sent out word when that would be. Earlier than last year .. I wanted to ease towards the North with a margin for error should something happen. As always we were going to be subject to the Sky and whatever the Sky decreed we would struggle through.

If there was a sign left of the rains it was the stream. It was swollen and muddy as it drained off water from higher places we could not see. Rich with soil that it would leave here and there to enrich the plains. Life bloomed around the stream as if it heralded a last flourish before the winter. Life at the stream was like a lamp in the dark for predators and not only did they come to the stream for water but now for food. It was impossible to walk anywhere along the stream without the little gnats getting in every open orifice or stuck in your hair. Frogs chirped and sang in the mornings and evenings and birds came for the insects and frogs. Little tiny circles of life that made up even bigger circles.

But today was a lazy day. It held the warmth of the fast fading summer as if it wanted us to forget the cooler nights that had come. The stream was quiet save for the occasional buzz or chirp or flutter of wings. Everything eased back in the hot rays of the Central Fire and just bathed in it. And I was no different. In the long grass by the stream bank I lay and gazed at the Sky. Drifting in and out of sleep. It felt like I had not slept in hands and seasons. The bits of fever having taken a lot of my strength. A small vestige of guilt remained for there was work I could be doing .. a lot of work actually ... but that little vestige did not last long as the warmth on my chest and legs and the prickle of the grass against my shoulders painted my mind with other things and other feelings and other emotions.

I think this is how it would have felt to be cradled in a mother's arms. This secure weightlessness. Nature's heartbeat against every cell of my body .. surely this is what it would have been like to be loved and nurtured and kept safe. It is hard for me to imagine any human ever being able to do that for me. I see an example of it sometimes when I see a mother and child. It fascinates me. I want to understand it .. and barring my ability to ever understand it I want to protect it. The urge rushes to my muscles and I want to clear a path before this thing and keep it sacred and safe. Perhaps that is my place .. to live and die by the lance and shield so that others may have this thing. Today that does not sound as bad as it might have yesterday .. or as bad as it might sound to me tomorrow. Today I feel fulfilled by it. Perhaps it is only the warmth on my skin and the sleepy cocoon I am wrapped within.