What The ...

Things had settled down .. some. It was such a busy day at the Fires .. I had set aside the day for some rest ... and I did get some despite the need for mental alertness through most of it.

I was sitting with Cana on the platform of the wagon .. bell came and curled up at my back and I used her to lean on. Falon and Silken got into it again about collars. I stepped in it again without meaning to .. asking a question that was none of my business but out of curiosity and considering it was being drug all about the fires .. I thought to ask. There was no personal insult there .. it was a "what if" question .. hypothetical .... unfortunately Falon was so defensive she ripped my head off for it and I had to apologize for butting in where I did not belong. I will not speak to Falon of such things again. Ever. I assured her of such. I had no idea I would offend her so much or that she was actually that worked up over what Silken was saying. To my knowledge it was obvious Silken was teasing .. and over the line but that was up to Falon to deal with and demand respect on. My question had nothing to do with whether or not Falon secretly wished to be a slave or secretly put on silks. My question was about her hypothetical opinions of suicide. And what warranted it in regards to herself.

I left Falon and Silken to figure it out and I did not enter their conversation again.

By this time Sakmeta brought me a gift. A blanket. She said it had been embroidered by blue .. but it was a gift from her. I spread it out and then stared at it for a long .. long .... long time.

I am not sure which one of them is connected to this Dream War in such a direct way but it freaked me right the fuck out and I probably seemed all pissed off about it. I am not so much pissed as .. not sure what to do with it. I put the blanket in my spex wagon. Seemed a safe place for it to be. I have no idea what this means ... I will think about it later when it does not freeze my synapses up into little sparkling icicles.