Ruffled

I talked with Cana down by the stream this evening. Seems she had a run in with Kaz the Singer when he came up to the First Fires to see T'zuri .. or run over her .. something like that.

Cana was obviously upset. She reminds me of a mother vulo all ruffled up and protective. I think she expected me to tell her she was over reacting. I did not. For some reason I think she expected me to defend Kaz. I did not.

I listened .. because I like Cana and I care about why she was upset. Did I think any small children were endangered by Kaz and his kaiila? No. The First Fires is not a day care for children. Our children grow up with the knowledge of kaiila and bosk and sleen from the time their eyes first open to the Sky. Our riders and warriors grow up with the knowledge of their beasts from the time they are old enough to sit a saddle. We live with carnivores and death on a daily basis .. we are not dwellers who coddle their children from every imaginable danger.

I know my words to her probably did not fall on welcome ground. I know she was angry as a mother and she had her pride hurt in the process. I told her she did not do anything wrong .. I told her to throw a good size metal pot at his head next time. I told her I piss off women around the fires all the time ... especially when they are cooking and if I had to count the times I had been chased off with a staff or a pot while being called a rowdy thoughtless bastard ... I would be a long time at it.

I am pleased that Cana is protective .. I am pleased she is female. I like her that way. I am not .. most men I know are not. We need the other side to throw pots at us and tell us to knock our shit off. But I did not like seeing her so out of peace with it. So upset. I wish I had the words to ease that .. I wish I knew how to talk to her like another woman to connect somehow on a level of understanding that I do not have. Whether successful or not I tried because I want her to know that she matters. Her worry and care is appreciated. Tug is fortunate to have someone fighting for him. I never had such .. I wish I had. It does not mean I will yell at Kaz for jumping his kaiila over the fire or even running T'zuri down. Since Cana was not worried about T'zuri at all I figure she must be all right and as for the kaiila .. I have done it and a lot worse. And the next time I do I figure I will get a pot thrown at my head as usual and I will smile because ... I would miss it if women stopped being female .. stopped being who they are ... even as I am dodging a split skull.