Ancient Paths

We choose pathways every day. We make choices that take us one way or the other. Some of them are well traveled and smooth and others are ancient and not as well known. Sometimes when I find myself in new territory I look around for those that have gone before me and I see how their choices have effected their lives and how those choices impacted their freedoms .. reputations and the trusts they share with others.

Last night at the fires I was tired as usual and camp had just been set up. Many people came to join the warmth and light cast by the Main Fires. A council fire .. if you will. I saw many faces .. some I have not seen in a while like T'zuri's... speaking of T'zuri I must remember to tan her leather clad ass for her. But back to paths ...

Now Silken has been choosing a path lately. A path most of us have seen chosen before with pretty predictable results. But everyone has choices to make about their lives and Silken is a big girl .. a woman ... a mother. And it is about time she was allowed to make of her life what she will.

When it comes down to little brass tacks no one I know of saw her doing anything aside from self medicating with "herbs". So how far you take your path into the personal space of someone? I was not ready to take it there yet myself.

Last night she was a mess. I am guessing she decided to stop on her own .. wether out of necessity or conscience I do not know. But like I said .. she was a mess. She could not hold her hands steady. She was tweaking hard and could not remember what had happened from one moment to the next. It was not a pretty thing to watch. Shi pulled Falon aside from the fires and then passed a message to me that he .. with Falon's support ... was removing Silken from her Healer's duties until Falon cleared her. Locking her wagon of supplies even from her.

Now like I said Silken was not doing well but as far as I could see her mental capacity was not completely gone .. and I asked aloud if this action was to be a secret. Shi said he was only waiting for my support. I told him that I would always support a man's decision about his own mate .. especially if he had a Healer to back him up. But I did say that someone should inform Silken of this decision .. and I did not feel it should be me since it was not my decision. I figured Shi and Falon would take her aside and fill her in. I was wrong. Shi told her at the fires. If he was looking for the pathway of public humilation .. he found it. Not denying that Silken all ready had her toes over the line in that direction.

Now I do not have an ounce of pity for the struggle she was having with her own addictions. Silken chose a path and it was her path to walk. But should this have been done at the main fires? At some point I know everyone would become aware that our en Healer was no longer .. healing. And by Falon's words to me later it did need to be done. But could this not have at least been broken to her in private?

I do not know. I do not know anything. I was not made a part of this in any way save Shi let me know what path he had decided to take. And though Falon pulled me aside after the fact and told me directly of Silken's addiction to kanda I am still somewhere on the outside of it so who am I to judge how it should or should not have been done?

All I do know is that the paths we take must be considered very carefully for many of them lead to terribly predictable outcomes. Outcomes that threaten freedoms .. reputations ... and trusts we share around the First Fires.