Bottled Blue

Blue is a slave. Fairly new to the First Wagons .. actually fairly new to the Tuchuk period. A slave taken from a caravan of entertainment. She seems happy .. vibrant. But there is something all bottled up in blue that leaks out around the edges sometimes.

Now blue and I did not get along at first. I found her thoughtless and inattentive. I found her annoying and brazen. I told her stay the hell away from me while I was wounded. I told her to stay away from my things.

Now I have noticed a bit of a change in blue. She seems to be listening. She seems to be paying better attention. And she seems to want something from me. Now what that is I do not know .. but I see it in the way she moves around me .. in her eyes when they are on me. She seems expectant .. or wishful of something in me. I do not know what that is.

Now blue was there the day bell spoke to me and told me the story of the small boy and let me know I was a mistake .. that she was not meant by the Sky to care for me as she had done. That she was where she belonged now. With the boy. With Cana's wagons. Since that day blue has spoke to me of the color of my eyes .. or as she put it ... lack of color. When I ask blue what she wants .. she says she wants to put the color back in my eyes. I am not sure what this means exactly to blue. Why that would fulfill something in her?

She was pleasing enough the other day and I let her ride with me on my kaiila. I do not do that often but ... it was my time to relax and catch my breath and replenish my water before returning to the herds. And relaxing with a female body pressed against my own is always a good thing. But she fell from favor with me that same night when she tried to serve both Kai and I at the same time .. and I was the afterthought. Did she honestly think that I would do sloppy seconds? I am the Ubar of the Tuchuk. I have hundreds of slaves and anyone of them to please me with just a gesture. And I can guarantee you that when any of them serves me I am their focus. They put considerable time and effort into seeing that I am pleased. So why would I put up with being an afterthought? Something slid into a routine to make it all go easier and faster and kill two birds with one stone? Am I a chore? A task? Something to get out of the way? I would not find that acceptable as a warrior with no position out at the fringes of this camp ... let alone as the Ubar.

Blue confuses me. Sometimes she seems so focused on me and ... there is that something that I feel she desperately needs and wants from me .. and other times she is lost in some other world. Some other thought or place that has her attention. I think there must be a hell of a lot going on inside blue. A lot of something that is all bottled up and waiting to be opened.